


The Shape of Air

by shellebelle



Series: Mythopoesis [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Kids are Literal Gods, More tags and characters to be added, Multi, Sort of Canon Compliant?, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellebelle/pseuds/shellebelle
Summary: Your name is John Egbert, and you are not ready for this.





	1. John Egbert==>Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> _Pour cement 'round things_  
>  Let it dry  
> Break away things  
> See the design  
> Describe the voice from heaven  
> And paint the grace you're given  
> It's the shape of air  
> It's the shape of air  
> I can sit and stare  
> 'Til it's almost clear... "The Shape of Air" -- Daniel Amos

John Egbert ==> Wake Up

 

Your name is John Egbert, and you are not ready for this.

You’re staring up at blue sky and clouds. It feels like you’ve been here for a thousand years, just lying here and looking up at the sky. It occurs to you that you might have actually _been_ here for a thousand years. That idea just makes it feel like something is sitting on your chest, crushing your lungs.

You sit up and look around and you can see _everything_. The entire world, all the people, consorts and carapaces. They’re all working together. That’s _awesome_. You are really glad people are getting along.

But...

You feel like you have vertigo, and nearly panic. You can feel _them_ pressing against you, in a way. They’re scared sometimes, worried. They want you to be real. They want you--all four of you--to help them.

You _want_ to help them. You want to be _real._ You close your eyes, and take some deep breaths, trying to bring your...mind, you guess, back into your body and out of the rest of this wide world. You don't exactly know how to do that though and it doesn't work so well.

You aren’t sure what you should do now, so you get to your feet and look around for the others, and trudge over to where Rose and Jade are both sitting, talking quietly. You plunk down beside them and Jade immediately rests her head against your shoulder. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Wondering how to be a Goddess, actually,” Rose says, sounding a little shy. To your relief, she sounds almost as uncertain as you do. Her eyes are a little red, her face blotchy, as if she's daring you to ask if she's been crying. You're not going to ask.

“...me too,” you admit. “...I’m good as a friendleader, but I’m not sure how good I’ll be as...a God.”

“I think we’re all dealing with the same question,” Jade says.

You put your arm around her and give her a squeeze. “Did you guys also have the 'I can see everything' effect when you woke up?”

Jade nods, groaning a little. “That was scary.”

Rose sighs. “...I think this is going to take more of a learning curve than I'd hoped.” Her voice sounds shaky and you reach out to her, taking her hand and squeezing it.

“It'll be all right, Rose. We'll get the hang of things.” It's hard to reassure if you aren't feeling very confident yourself, and you're afraid that you don't sound very reassuring at all. You look around. “...where’s Dave?”

“He walked over that way,” Rose said, waving a hand in that direction. “He looked stressed. I’m got a strong feeling he wanted to be alone.”

You look in the direction she indicated. “I’m gonna go see if he’s okay.” He really needed to see Dave. It was going to be okay, it would be, if he could talk to Dave.

Rose tilted her head as if listening to something, and nodded. “Good idea.”

You grin at her, scramble to your feet, and head off.

Skaia is...green and blue, like Earth but way less people-y, at least at the moment. There are lots of birds, lots of little scurrying things. The sky is blue, the sun is a pale, pale yellow-green. (Something is telling you that it’s about 70 degrees Fahrenheit right now, and it will rain tomorrow, there are carapaces building a city to the west, and a group of humans close to them who are considering making contact with them. Also, several groups of consorts are dwelling over the surface of Skaia, keeping to themselves. You know they’ll all meet someday. This is...possibly too much information.)

You take a deep breath and look around for Dave. You can see his silly looking cape hanging off of a branch of an apple tree a few yards off and you start over. You can hear him mumbling under his breath: _Rollin down the street smokin indo sippin on gin and juice laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind…_

You roll your eyes. Still a dork. “Hey Dave.” He’s sitting on a low hanging branch, eating an apple.

“Yo, Egbert.” His voice is a little hoarse. He looks as poker-faced as he ever has, eyes hidden behind shades.

You look up at him. You can tell he isn't good, but you ask anyway. “You okay?”

“Oh got no problem here, just a god in his natural habitat in this pristine untouched wilderness, eating just cos, immortal all up in this bitch. No existential angst here.” One hand holds his apple, the other is white-knuckled on the branch beside him.

“Oh, totally none here either!” You try on a smile, which feels like a lie. Your chest feels tight and your body wants to sleep, sleep until someone tells you _what to do_. You certainly don’t know.

“Nope, all of us kids totally normal. Not like sis isn’t freaking out over messing up and Jade isn’t freaking out over the weight of expectations.”

Expectations. Yes, you can feel those too. You think...you think those might be prayers. Now that you’ve noticed, you can’t un-hear the soft buzzing, barely distinguished one from another, of prayers.

“Dave, I might be freaking out.” You can hear your voice shaking.

“No shit?” He's trying to sound sarcastic, but his voice cracks on the question. He looks down at you. “...yeah, no shit.” He drops down from the tree and just...hugs you, hard.

You bury your head in his shoulder and sigh shakily. “I miss Karkat.” You’d give anything to hear him curse you out again. It would make things seem so much more _normal_. Dave chuckles in agreement and nods.

“And Terezi. And Kanaya. Rose is a wreck.”

“And what about Jake? And Jane and Roxy and Dirk? I mean, are they coming? I thought they'd be here too!” More people would make this easier, wouldn't it? You certainly hope so.

“...we gotta wait for them to get here. The world needs to get underway. And that's our job.”

“...I thought everything would be okay, Dave. I thought everything was gonna be okay once we got here and we'd won. But I don't know the first thing about what I should do now.”

He gives you another squeeze and lets you go. “...Hey. It's 'we', what should _we_ do now. You're not alone.”

You wipe your eyes. “...Yeah. I know.”

“I can see all the timelines.” He mumbles it, looking down and away from you. You want to ask him to repeat himself but you heard him perfectly the first time.

“...that's scary.”

“...little bit, yeah. 's why I've had some alone time. I needed to find a place to put that knowledge in my brain so I don't have to...be aware of it all the time.”

“Huh? How did you do that?”

“...I'm not really sure? I just sort of found a place where that bit of me could sort of live and go on while I did other things?”

“Do you hear the...uh. Prayers?” Your voice still shakes, why are they praying to _you_ , you are totally not worthy to have prayers prayed to you!

“Yeah. They sort of went to the...same place. Or thereabouts.” He gestures carelessly with a shaking hand.

It reassures you, a little, to know that Dave is just as freaked out as you are. “...We shouldn't be away from the girls. They need us too.”

Dave pauses for a little while, pressing his lips together tight and taking a deep breath. “...Yeah, you're right.” He slides down, landing beside you. You immediately hook an an arm around his neck and hug him. You can't help yourself. It's stupidly good to have him near you, that you're together.

“Aw, Egbert. We're gonna get the hang of this immortality-and-god thing and then we are gonna rule. Literally. Okay?”

You nod, relieved. Eventually, maybe you will be okay as a friendleader again. But right now, you aren't any sort of leader. Maybe it'll be enough that you're there and with the others.

 

==> Jade: Cuddle Rose

This is easy to do! She is so soft, and she looked a little cold, so you put your arms around her and she lets you cuddle her.

“I worry that this is going to be too much for me.” Her voice wobbled.

“It's scary but at least we're all together,” you tell her. You're scared too but at least there's no one trying to take over your brain. The prayers are a little strange and you sort of try to put them in the background, but you can still hear them and they're still there. Still, your heart aches, when you focus and listen. They need you all so badly!

The boys come back and plunk on the ground next to you. John is almost sitting on Dave's lap and neither of them seem to care, they have their arms slung about each other carelessly. “Uh, we're here for the New Gods Orientation and Freakout,” Dave says.

Rose snorts. “I am afraid I've gotten ahead of you, Dave. Late as usual.”

“So has...um. Anyone figured out what we should do?” John asks, sounding very unsure.

You smile at him in what you hope is a reassuring manner. “Nope. But we're together, right? We should be able to figure this out.”

The four of you fall silent for a moment. Then Dave says, “...you gotta like...put the praying in the back of your mind. Like in a closet. It's all still there but you can do other things when you put it away. Sort of. It's like being constantly anxious but in a different room.”

Rose lifts her head off of your shoulder. “...like a memory palace,” she says.

“Do what now?” Dave says. John giggles at his accent, but you're just glad he's letting it out.

“A memory palace, it's an aid for memory—but maybe you tucking away the praying is like putting it in a room in a house where you can keep it safe and hear it later.”

“That's weird. A house in your head? That makes no sense.” How does that even work?

“It takes a little work from what I understand...but I can think of nothing else, I don't know _how_ to answer prayers!” Rose's voice is rising though you can tell she's trying to tamp down her rising panic. You squeeze her tighter.

You're silent for a time, unsure of what to say, until something occurs to you. “...Um...why don't we just...answer the prayers? Like 'we hear you and we are here, we love you and we will help'? Maybe that's what they need right now.”

John frowns, his brow furrowing. “...but how do you _do_ that?”

You think for a moment. “Maybe...you just pray but in reverse?”

John thinks about that for a moment, then nods determinedly and scrambles to get on his knees, prompting an amused snort from Dave. “Shut up, Dave, you butt! What should I say, Jade?”

You can't help it, you giggle and decide that perhaps getting into the right position physically might help get you in the right frame of mind. As soon as you get on your knees, Rose and Dave follow suit, clasping their hands, waiting on you to begin.

“Hmm...okay.” You take a deep breath. “Dear inhabitants of Skaia. We're really happy that you're here and that you seem to be doing okay! We know that you are just going to be doing great things!”

“You guys are gonna be just fine,” Dave continues. “And it's just going to get better now that we're really awake.”

“We'll always be here for you and we'll help you in any way we can,” Rose says quietly. “It's a beautiful world.”

“And it's okay to be scared. We're kind of scared too!” John's voice wavers. “But we'll do our very best!”

You're all quiet after that. And so are the prayers in your heads. You can tell they'll start again. But for now, everyone is talking. About an answered prayer. About what they'll do tomorrow. About their future.

Beside you, Rose takes a deep breath. “...it worked.” She sounds surprised, and relieved, and a little sniffly. You reach over and squeeze her shoulder and she gives a little gasp-sob. You smile her and she smiles back, though it trembles a little.  
  


“Course it worked,” Dave says. “Jade _is_ the smartest, right?”

“Totally the smartest,” John agrees.

“Shut up,” you say, blushing. Your ears have got to be bright red by now.

But the tension is...well, if not gone, it's lessened. You take a deep breath in and then a long breath out. Yeah. That's less.

You'll be okay. You'll all be okay.

 

 


	2. Rose ==>Adjust the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4/13 everyone! I have been working on this fic off and on since 2011; I'm going to try to update much more often!

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are thinking that perhaps this will not be an easy journey. You didn't assume it would be, but the task seems overwhelming and you aren't sure where to find the information you all will need. 

You all fell asleep last night, right on the grass; cuddled together like kittens. Your face is pressed against John's soft hair, and he's sleeping with his mouth open. You can't help but smile. You turn your face to the early morning sky. You don't need to shield your face from the sunshine anymore, it's mild and soft against your face. 

You think about the 'memory palace' idea. You wonder if there's a place you could...share, with them, that you could try things and see if they work before trying them out in the 'real world', if there's a way to have a home, a place to rest. 

Sleeping under the weird stars and the double moons is nice but it's a little too weird sometimes and you want a bed and covers. 

Though you wouldn't mind sharing the bed. It would feel weird not to, at least right now. 

Somewhere up ahead, you hear a door close. 

You frown, and sit up. 

There's a door in the grass up ahead. An ornate wood and glass with brass accents door. Just...a door, with nothing around it. 

“Whassit?” John's stirring sleepily. You scruffle the hair on his head and he wrinkles his nose and swats at your hand, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

“...a door.” You gesture toward it with your hand. 

He blinks. “...huh!” A series of emotions crosses his face, trying to figure out how to react, panic and surprise and curiosity and fear.

You reach out to him and grab his hand. “It's okay, John. Nothing can hurt us here.” 

He huffs out a laugh. “...yeah, okay. So let's go check it out.” He turns to Dave and prods him in the side. “Hey, wake up.” 

Dave and Jade seem to come awake at the same time, though Dave groans. “...geez, Egbert, what is it? I don't have to go to school or anything, what?” 

You snort. “...there's a door. John and I would like to open it but we don't want to leave you both.” 

Dave sits up just enough to look at the door. “...ooohkay random door is random.” 

“Guess we should go through it?” Jade stands up and reaches down to help Dave up, pulling him up to his feet. 

You move forward, walking around the door, which just seems to be free-standing. It strikes you as somehow more real and solid than any other door you've ever seen. Still. It's just a door. Wooden with a brass doorknob. 

“Hey Rose,” John calls, “Come on so we can open this door together!” He looks...a little worried, and is holding his hand out and waggling his fingers. 

You hurry to take his hand and give it a firm squeeze, smiling up at him. “Everyone ready?” 

“Sure. John, open the door!” Jade gives him a nudge and John startles and grabs the doorknob. 

He looks at you, looks at the others. “...you sure?” 

Dave punches him lightly in the shoulder. “Go ahead dude. We're ready.” 

John opens the door slowly, letting it swing wide in front of the four of you. Beyond is...another world. But the grassy hills and mountains look like a Windows 98 desktop, the sun is a spangled ornament low in the morning sky, and there is...a very, very strange house. 

You recognize the blocky but elegant structure of your own house at the top left, and the river flows past, just like home, but somehow at the bottom left it morphs into Jade's spire from her island home. At the right is a normal suburban home, you remember building John's home up into the first Gate (how long ago was that? It feels like an eternity), but it morphs into Dave's high rise at the bottom right. It's the strangest house you've ever seen, some weird conglomeration of all four of your homes, and it doesn't work at all. Where your sections of the house interject seem to be constantly shifting and adjusting. It kind of hurts your head to look at it very long. 

“Jegus,” Dave says. “Microsoft Paint cut-and-paste is no way to construct a house.” 

John holds your hand tight and you cover his with your own. He's so freaked-out, you didn't expect him to be the one who reacted this badly. There is a structured garden nearby and Jade is already bounding off to look at it, tugging Dave behind her like a kid tugging her little red wagon. 

“It's going to be okay, John. Come on, let's follow them.” You pat his hand and he sighs and nods. It's not like him to be so quiet but you'll allow it for now. You'll get him to talk later if it's the last thing you do. 

There are instruments there, all of them your instruments of choice, your violin, Jade's double-bass, John's piano, Dave's turntables. John immediately sits down at the piano, placing his hands on the keys. 

“It looks like you're trying to create a world. Would you like help with that?” Davesprite appears above them. John startles and leaps about a foot in the air. “Jegus!” He looks up at the orange floating feathery asshole floating above his head. 

“Nope, Davesprite. Welcome to Sandbox 1.0. Let me be your guide.” 

“Davesprite! You're such a dork,” Jade laughs. “Seriously, are you our trainer?” 

“Nah, just here to help out when I need to. It was better than becoming scattered pixels or dispersed energy. I feel like I got skin in this game so I decided to stick around.” 

“Good job, other-me,” Dave says, reaching up to give himself fist-bumps. “What's with the entry for 'House Hunters: Interdimensional Edition'?” Dave gestures at the weird, shifting house. 

Davesprite snorts. “It goes to your respective Lands. Whichever your house is, it'll go to your Land. When you're ready to go.” 

“Well that's not ominous or anything,” Dave mumbles.

“...so what did you mean by 'it looks like you're trying to create a world', Davesprite?” John sits back down at the piano. 

“You can create stuff by playing music. You just have to think about what you're creating and play whatever occurs to you. Not easy. But simple.” 

John looks comically skeptical. “Like what kinda stuff?” 

You sit next to John at the piano. “What still bothers you about the world,” you ask him. “What's missing?” You lean your head against his shoulder and he rests his head on yours while Jade starts needlessly tuning her bass and Dave puts his headphones on his head. 

“...welllllll,” he starts, thinking aloud. “Its not so much missing as...wrong. Like...the stars. They're not quite right. Like...the constellations. They're not gonna mean much to anyone else but they mean something to me.” 

You think about it for a moment. “The zodiacs aren't there.” 

John nods. “They need to be there. Only our constellations are there.” You get a vision of those constellations. They haven't been named yet; the civilization hasn't come that far yet, but they soon will be. John places his fingers on the piano, and then starts playing. You stand up and set your bow to the violin, playing a simple counterpoint to John's playing; it seems like you're playing far beyond your own skill as you knew it. But it's pure joy to do it and by the smile on John's face, you can see it is for him too. 

The surroundings grow slowly dimmer, late afternoon shading to dusk, to evening, to night, and you draw your bow across your violin as darkness falls. Dave starts up some old Cosmos-soundtrack mixed with Tangerine Dream that somehow fits with all of that and Jade's bass playing. 

John looks up and his eyes widen. “Cool!” he says in a whisper.   
You all look up in time to see the band of Zodiac constellations stretch across the sky. Other stars fill in the space, in all different colors, all of your colors, and orange, pale blue, dark green and pink. You see other colors too, and they all belong there, along with your pale green sun and the yellow and purple moons. 

Planets appear, small bright steady dots, and comets, and falling stars. Your music fills the sky with stars and bright bands of color like aurora borealis. 

Gradually, the music ends and the sky is glowing.

“Gotta set it, or it'll be messed up when you leave the sandbox. You can set it any way you want. Just save your progress.” 

“Save my progress?” Instantly, the glow gets brighter for a moment, then settles. 

“See? Done.” Davesprite grins slightly. 

You all seem to...breathe out. As if one more thing in this world has been set right. You can't believe how tired you are, and yawn into the back of your wrist. John puts an arm around your shoulders and gives you a squeeze. 

“Man, I could use a nap. I thought that being all god-like and shit we wouldn't get tired or anything.”

“Well, even gods need a nap sometimes!” Jade says, and goes to plunk herself in the middle of the garden, tugging Dave along and pulling him down with her. 

You look over at John, who is rubbing one eye with his fist, his glasses perched askew on the top of his head and one ear and yawning. When he opens his eyes again, you smile at him and hold out your hand. “Naptime?” he asked. 

You wiggle your fingers at him. “It seems to be Our Divine Activity at the moment.” He takes your hand and you go to join the others. 

 

==>Interlude: Devotionals

All around the world, small shrines are being constructed, tiny altars set on rocks, laid with flowers and offerings of fruit. The inhabitants of Skaia are talking to each other, trying to express their hopes and dreams to each other now that their Gods had spoken, even if only briefly. Several people who had been gazing at the skies when the stars changed were still chattering with each other about what they could possibly mean. Others had visions, and tried in their simple, flailing ways to describe what they saw (wings and eyes, many armed creatures, spinning motions, large empty-but-full spaces) and what they'd heard and felt—the uncertainty and the love.   
Whatever they heard or felt or saw, it satisfied something deep inside, and they worked even harder to keep themselves afloat, prosperous, and happy. 

Attributing their successes to the gods just came naturally.

**Author's Note:**

> Most of this has been sitting in a document for months but I came to a stopping point and decided to post the chapter. I hope you enjoy!


End file.
